Today is America Recycles Day (not to be confused with Canada Recycles Day, which always falls, as everyone knows, on the first Saturday of the month following the first full moon after the cancellation of your favourite [sic] television series). It also happens to be Clean Your Refrigerator Day. But surely, there are items hiding in your refrigerator that should, under no circumstances, be recycled. This is all very informative/confusing, I know. That’s why I always celebrate by recycling the previous day’s decision to eat a Blizzard® Treat. I also recycle the same outfit I wore the previous day, but that’s not really celebrating anything other than my own laziness.
Also, in case you’re wondering, I’m pretty sure it’s not a federal holiday, so your emails should all be delivered without a hitch!